Unlocking the Doors

SO, I made a video blog on Tuesday to post up here, and well apparently the wifi connection isn’t fast enough to download it to Youtube. In that case you will have to settle for me writing my thoughts instead of voicing them. With my last post, I was sort of treading water and was seriously about to go under. But that’s when it happened. God made everything connect.

I have been reading alot in the Old Testament especially in Exodus. I love the story of Moses and the Israelites. Moses really did put up with alot, complaining and insecurity. A really low morale. I relate with Moses in the part of my boys like to complain and will push my limits which has sometimes resulted in time-outs and even trips to the office. But I also relate to the Israelites. Stubborn, isolated, SCARED. Why is it so hard to trust God? I’m so easily distracted by everything else in this world.

But, then I preceded to watch none the less Veggie Tales! It was Movie Time for my boys, and we were watching the one about Joshua and the Wall of Jericho. Amongst Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato, God revealed himself to me. You just have to follow directions. You just have to FOLLOW ME.

And a side note, there are 2 Hephzibah boys that have been able to come to camp. And they are really sweet, and awesome! Their names are Langston and Micah. I was playing on the water slide with them and then football.  I wish they were in my group, but we do get to eat meals with them on the weekends.

So, this picture of me is obviously me playing in the sprinklers at Hephzibah and I am obviously having fun. But it also represents that God is my living water and I am having a blast soaking up his presence despite being in the desert!

I am a thorn on your crown that continually pierces your brow.
I make you bleed.
It hurts you, and it hurts me.

Why am I so ashamed of you?
Why?

Where is my passion?
Where is my heart?

Rescue me!

This is where I am at. Fighting with apathy. Struggling with routine. Feeling like I am missing out on something better. Expecting God to move in a mighty way while I simply stay seated. Despite knowing differently, allowing myself to believe that I have been forgotten. I am so messed up! A really BIG mess.

I do love my Jesus, I do.
He is my peace among the chaos.

Guess what blog readers? I am not at the Pizza Hut, but actually in an awesome coffee shop in downtown Macon. It is called The Joshua Cup, and it is a Christian run business. Our married couple friends went exploring and found this place. Pretty exciting right? I think so!

But anyways, I have to say that Week 2 of Camp Pathway went by ultra fast. I was sitting at the sign-out table Friday trying to grasp the fact that Friday had already come. I had post camp duties for Week 2 as well, and I will have them again for week 3, and my boss told me that I will have them for Week 4 too. I really don’t mind post camp hours. I don’t have to be there until 9:00am. And working to 6:00pm isn’t so bad because I work the sign-out table.

The one thing that just amazes me about my boys is their creativity. Our schedules vary week to week, and sometimes it results in 2-3 hours of Gym time. Which translates into 25 balls of all kinds coming at you from all directions while 2 of your kids are tugging on one hand wanting to tattle tell on someone while another one jumps on your back from nowhere and won’t let go, and all the while you have to keep an eye on everyone. Quite an adrenaline rush.

But anyways, back to their creativity! 2 of my boys, Carlos and Sammy found a barstool and a kickball. The game was simple, but so entertaining. The barstool went in the middle and one person controlled the barstool. The other 2 people stood in front of the stool, like monkey in the middle. Well, the object was to bounce the ball on the stool to the other person. It could only bounce on the stool. The person in the middle could make the stool wobble and shake as much as they wanted. Pretty sweet game for 8-9 year olds!

My boys make me laugh so much! They’re just so..goofy. Which is great for me because well I’m pretty goofy myself. My JR counselor is Hank, and the boys look up to him so much. He’s 15 and a soccer star yet so respectful and mature for his age. Which the boys call us, Mr. Hank and Miss Liz. And I have to admit, I’ve grown to really like being called that. I realize it is a sign of authority and respect, but also a sign that we care enough to be these boys’ mentors and not just their friends. And it’s goes without saying that these boys will test you, they want to see how serious you really are. And the result has been time-out from the pool and other things. I mean business, and I can see the boys respect that even though it seems lining up is the biggest challenge for us.

Something I have had to get used to is using a microphone. I’ve never really had a reason to use one constantly, but in the mornings before we separate into our activities, we have Song time. Usually the volunteers that come to help at Hephzibah are in charge of Song time. But since, we didn’t have any this week, it was up to the counselors. Well…the 2 camp songs I know by heart are The Fast Food Song and Tarzan. Soooo, I was up there singing those songs. Granted, they both have motions so the microphone use was limited. That was until we decided to sing Every Move I Make. And since the other counselors knew the motions to that, I was chosen to sing it…into the microphone. I didn’t have to deal with my insecurity, I just had it do it. And I became quite comfortable with it which I am grateful for. Because these boys, and all the kids in general really do look up to you in every single aspect.

Right now, I’m pretty sure my boys think I am the biggest dork ever, but they also see that they are my whole world this summer. To top off me being a dork is my infamous Mr. Potato Head costume. This week’s theme was Holidays and Friday was Valentine’s Day. So, we decided to do a skit and well, I wore my costume. Best 3 bucks I have ever spent! I tried to wear it all day, but it just got too hot. The kids loved it though.

On a random note, I have these Turbo Jam DVDs and us 3 girls that live on campus have decided to work out Monday through Friday after camp. We are doing the Booty Sculpt and Ab workout. Laugh if you will, but it’s 30 minutes of working out and girl time. And we’re feeling it!

I realize this blog has become kind of long and probably will seem scattered, but I am just typing as my brain processes. With doing devotions with the boys everyday, I feel like I’ve been placing certain expectations on God and them. That they’re just supposed to understand that God loves them. End of story. But obviously, there’s so much more to Him than that! God cannot fit into a box, and to try to describe him rationally to a 8-9 year old is almost impossible. But, that’s what makes him so great. Because while my flesh gets in the way, he shines through in other ways. Whether it’s when I take time with each kid to either throw them in the pool or spin them around, He shines!!

Psalm 66:20
“Praise be to God who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me.”

Until next time!

Here I am again, typing my thoughts from the Pizza Hut with free wi-fi down the road. The first week of camp is officially over, and let’s just say I have already gotten more of a tan than I had all summer last year. I have also yelled more in just 5 days than I have in my entire life. I have an average of 10-12 boys all between the ages of 8 and 9. They all have their different personalities and come from very different home lives. It ranges from the whiner who complains about everything to the quiet loner. Also, from 2 consistent parents that love their son dearly to a single mother that watched (with her son), her son’s father kill her fiancee’ in cold blood.

The boy that watched his father kill his future stepfather always wants to be close to me, and it just breaks my heart completely. Another thing that broke my heart was during devotions today, I was taking prayer requests and another boy wanted to pray for a Daddy because he never had one. 

All this week, we have been singing a fun kiddy song that basically goes, “Hey! Jesus loves me!” over and over again. It didn’t hit me until today. HEY! JESUS LOVES ME! Jesus loves me just the way he created me, and will continue to love me as I grow into the disciple he wants me to be.

I have always had a problem with not seeing results. If I don’t see a kid changed by the power of Christ, then I tend to think of myself as a complete failure. But, God kindly reminded me this week that RESULTS were his business, not mine. I may never see the seed I plant grow into fruit, but I have to be content with the fact that I have the opportunity to plant the seed! 

Until next time!